The Civilized Evolution of Monogamy

“The Civilized Evolution of Monogamy” – J. Adam Snyder

Why is cheating wrong? How did monogamy emerge? The answer lies at the inherent understanding of Tribalism vs Civilization.

Romance is a an art form, a sublime dance that requires two. Not more, not less. I know some individuals who are in polyamorist and open relationships. It is not my place to judge the lives of others, if it works for them and all the parties involved are aware of the relationship and are happy with what it entails, that is their business and they have a right to it as long as nobody is deceived or harmed.

However, speaking from personal experiences with past open relationships, people get jealous and problems arise. It is also difficult to invest emotionally and truly be intimate with an individual because you are dividing your time between partners. It essentially ends up being sexual and not so much romantic.

Polygamy was the original relationship status of our earliest ancestors. Men had multiple wives because women often died during childbirth along with the child, therefore having multiple women created a higher numerical chance of having surviving offspring, and if the mother were to die other wives would be around to care for it. This however started to fade away as civilization took root and abandoned the archaic ways of their tribal ancestors. Art, philosophy, science, democracy, and romance were born along with agriculture.

During this process the idea of formal marriage and an authentic romantic bond emerged and polygamy slowly dissipated. Monogamy became beneficial to the survival of the civilized man as opposed to the tribal man. In a civilization, a person having multiple partners presents several issues that are hard to manage. Aside from jealousy which I mentioned earlier, there is the increased risks of sexually transmitted diseases, and being able to adequately provide for every partner’s specific needs.

If pregnancy were to occur it would create conflict among the group in terms of who should provide for the child, as who does the child belong to in such a relationship? The woman and the man who impregnated her? Or everyone in the group? Not to mention that in the case of multiple pregnancies with multiple women, a massive financial strain will be created upon the group as a whole, leaving the children in a state of neglect as the parents are unable to successfully offer substantial care and attention to sustain the children’s overall well-being.

Essentially, having multiple partners in a relationship is a backwards and unsophisticated practice from a bygone troglodyte era. Monogamy is the more “high class” and “evolved” relationship practice that functions more successfully in an advanced civilization. Tribalism vs Civilization, one is more successful towards human progress than the other, though both have their purposes when it comes to survival.

Tribalism occurs when mankind is unable to cultivate their environment and everyday is little more than a struggle to avoid extinction. Civilization occurs when mankind is able to successfully cultivate their environment and more intellectual, spiritual, artistic, and democratic pursuits are practiced as mankind is no longer fighting to exist but are now capable of living comfortable and luxurious lives.

The effects of this can be observed today. The places where having multiple partners is practiced as the primary relationship status are of Amazonian, African, and Polynesian tribes. The Middle-East also follows this practice, which despite an abundance of cities in the region, still retains a strong tribal mentality and system that is engraved within the culture. By contrast, the places where monogamy is practiced as the primary relationship status is the rest of the world, all of which are more advanced and civilized than their polygamist tribal counterparts.

Tribalism is of the “low,” Civilization is of the “high.”


© – J.Adam Snyder

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